Amazing Faith

Hello my dearest friends. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! I was blessed to be here in Idaho with my family. All of us were here except my sister Shalee, who is 37 weeks pregnant. And here we were worried she would deliver at 25 weeks and then was placed on bed rest for 9 weeks. Now she can't get the little miss out! But anyhow, it was a wonderful day with my family. I hope all of you also enjoyed your time with family. We are all so blessed to have wonderful families, friends, and most importantly the gospel. 

Earlier this week I had shared with Mel that there were some family difficulties going on for us. My Mom has had problems with her bowels for the past 3-4 years. She had seen a Dr, but they attributed it to Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). My parents do not have insurance, so they had not been able to invest too much into it. But my Mother is an angel and has never complained about it. A few weeks ago, we had heard about a study for IBS; included with the study was a colonoscopy. So last Thursday she went in for the colonoscopy. We were quite surprised when my parents shared the results with us that the last 7cm of her colon is lined with a large tumor; my Mom has colon cancer. 

On Monday we got the results back from pathology and it is indeed malignant. We were gathered together as a family to watch Brave. My Dad gave my Mom a blessing. She didn't want a blessing, she wanted a healing. And that is indeed what was said in the blessing, that she would be healed. On Tuesday she went in for a CT scan and some labs. My Mom told the Dr that she wasn't sure why she needed the CT scan, there wasn't going to be cancer anywhere else. Well, the results are beyond wonderful. Sure enough all of the cancer is localized in that last section of her colon. This is the best news that we could ask for. We are all very grateful this Thanksgiving. My Mothers faith astounds me. If only I could have even a fraction of her faith. 

My Mom doesn't have the appointment with the oncologist until Dec. 11th. So for now we just wait to hear what the game plan is. We are so just grateful for the results we have received so far. I hope that the oncologist will have just as good of news that we have received so far. From what I have read online, she will need to have a bowel resection (the cancer portion of her bowel cut out and then the remaining good part reconnected), and then we aren't sure about the chemo or radiation yet. 

This has definitely brought my family closer together already. I am sure that it will bring us even closer together. It makes us treasure the moments we have with each other so much more. This holiday season will be more tender and memorable I'm sure. We have so much to be thankful for. 

After finding out this information I told my Mom that I would defer nursing school. I know that I have waited for this for so long. But family comes first. However, everything for school is falling into place. I was offered a job in the ICU at the hospital there and I may have found a place to live that is the right price. I will only be an hour and a half away, so I will still continue on with my plans and go to school. I am not sure what the future will hold. There have already been many tears. I think I have cried every day since finding this out. But I know that the Lord is with my family and I. I know that my Mom will be healed and that eventually everything will be ok. If you could please keep my Mom in your prayers, I would appreciate that. She is an amazing woman. And honestly, I don't know how I could ever live without her. 

I love you all so very much! I look forward to meeting up with you in a few weeks. You are all my dear sweet angels that I was blessed enough to have become a part of my life. Love you!!

all i got.

from mary

sadly, i realized i have no pics of tonya or her cute home!  next time i'll snag some and post them cause it's a cute place and we need some visuals on this website :)

pic 1:  sam and shawn:  watching Thomas the Train talkin' sports.
pic 2:  jared, tonya, and shawn played in a softball tournament together this summer.  here's a picture of tonya be the softballer that she is.  she smacked that ball good and hard!  they got skills and it was fun to watch the game with sam--who let the other little girl on the opposing team know that his mommy and daddy won the game while her daddy lost.  funny funny stuff.  cutest little kid i know!

Making history--My first blog post ever!

So it might not be a great day for me to write my post since I am feeling heavy hearted but here goes....

First a little update. Jared and I moved into a cute little 3 bedroom house in orem. We rent out the top floor and a newly married couple live in the basement. We have a Cherry tree in the front yard and a huge fenced in backyard for the kids to play in complete with patio furniture and a grill:) Having more space has been a HUGE blessing to our family. Chad has his own room (and a REAL bed!) so we all have private space and now can come out and enjoy the shared space. We have a washer, dryer, and dishwasher so I am feeling the blessing of these amenities in my life right now! We love our new home! (did I mention Jared and I have our own bathroom with 2 sinks?! So awesome to be able to get out of bed to use the bathroom without having to get fully clothed each time:)!)

On more good news....if you didn't know...we are expecting our third little one this April. I think it's a girl but we will know for sure in a few weeks. I am planning on delivering with the midwife again at our house so wish me luck:) 

Jared is still working as the art director at Connect PR. He is enjoying as he puts it "being a productive/contributing member of society" but is looking forward to finishing school and teaching which is his true passion. 

Sam and Nathan are as cute as can be. Nathan turned one last month and I can't believe it has been a year. He loves walking around exploring the house and everything in it but more than anything he loves his brother. Sam started a neighborhood preschool which he loves! He is so social and thrives off interaction with people. He still looks just like me and talks peoples ear off just like me:) 

Self-Reflection

Spiritual - I have been feeling the need, the urge, the inspiration to read the Book of Mormon again. Let's just say I keep getting stuck in my scripture study.I have yet as a wife and a mother found a great scripture study system. I have often beat myself up for the changes in study and prayer and have many times felt lazy. Yet, I am thankful for Heavenly Father's mercy blessing me with understanding, patience and a broader more flexible understanding of how to have a relationship with him during this transition and life phase. I am amazed at his compassion continuing to bless me as I say my prayer laying down with my eyes closed in bed too tired to get myself in the proper order of prayer or the way he showers down inspiration and guidance the moment I sincerely seek his help. I feel so blessed and watched over. I also feel the need to receive the blessings and the transformation that come into our lives when we read the Book of Mormon. I want the power of protection and the increase of love that comes from a true study of the Book of Mormon. So....if anyone wants to join me I am going to finish the Book of Mormon by the end of the year. I am in Alma 36 so I am going to start from there and see how it goes. I know I can accomplish any goal that is confirmed by Heavenly Father and I know this is something he wants me to do. If I make the sacrifice I will be successful. 

Physical- So being pregnant is nice in one respect because I don't feel bad about the little pooch that never left after Nathan was born. I actually think I look cute again with skinny jeans and a maternity shirt where there is suppose to be a big belly...I will enjoy this while it lasts until I just feel big and swollen and fat faced:) Seriously though, I am supposedly doing 8 goals for the last 8 weeks of the year. I failed miserably the first week but will try to accomplish the goals the next 7 which include working out 4 times a week and eating 4 fruits/vegetables a day. Not sure I will ever make the water goal of 8 glasses a day but I will give it a go:)

Mental-not sure... Some times I struggle with the isolation/identity of being a stay at home mom (see social section:)) and forgiveness.  Other than that things are great up stairs:)

Social- I need to change my attitude. I feel like I have struggled since we moved to Utah. I haven't really made many friends and feel somewhat isolated. Some of that is self inflicted. I am thankful for the friends I have (although sometimes I isolate from them too...(Mel so sorry I never returned your call to hang out. I really appreciated your call and I love you despite my slow response rate!)) and really need to do better at reaching out to others. I get in my little shell and just hide there. When I do peek out and try to reach out to others I often feel discouraged and or rejected at the result and throw in the towel. 

 Do something fun and spontaneous with the necklace on and take a picture to post to the blog:

On a date night Jared and I climbed to the top of a tall parking lot that was empty and we sat and talked and looked out at the beautiful city of provo. It was spontaneous and it was nothing exciting or extravagen. However, it was so fun! One of the best dates we had in a long time. Life fills up and it is rare that Jared and I have a chance to just sit, talk, and be in love (when we are not both tired out from the day:)) Sorry no picture though....you are just going to have to imagine it. 

Do something to stretch yourself

So technically I did not have the necklace for this event....but I thought I would so I am still using it:) I ran the top of Utah marathon pregnant and nursing! Sure I finished after the race officially shut down but I finished and it was no easy task! I was definitely not as prepared as I wish I would have been but I will throw myself a bone for the above stated reasons. It was really fun, it stretched me, and I am glad I was able to finish my 4th and probably final full marathon!!

all 5 berrys
do a fun service for someone sometime this month:   My fun service this month (November not October but I will double up this month) was playing in the snow with Sam. Don't love the cold but he was SO excited to play outside that I went out there with him.  We built a snowman, snow castle, and ended the adventure with a snow ball fight. Definitely rewarding service and worth the sacrifice because he couldn't stop giggling during the snow ball fight which got me giggling too. He kept talking about how fun it was for the rest of the day. Heart warming stuff I tell you. He would stop what he was doing and say "that was really fun having a snow ball fight with you mommy" doesn't get better than knowing you brought your child a bit of joy. 

This is very long but you may not hear from me again for 5 more months so hopefully you will forgive me:)

Love you guys. 

T

friends.

i've realized the last week that good friends are hard to come by.  

friends that you can share your inside goods and bads with.  

friends who love the gospel and help you along the way to better live it.  

friends who have seen you at your worst and still love you.

what i guess i'm trying to say is: i love and miss you girls.  sad that we live so far apart but SO glad we have this blog-- i can get on and count my blessings that i can still connect with each of you.  

so, consider this your virtual hug from me saying: 

YOU mean the world to me.

-mers

Finally, a light at the end of the Tunnel...

Well ladies, I have some great news...coming soon in summer of 2015...

Chanel R Eggleston, RN

I just found out that I have been accepted into the nursing program I was wait listed in! I will begin in Jan 2013! Tears come to my eyes knowing that this life long dream is finally coming true. You all were there with me in the beginning when I made this decision. You have been some of the biggest supporters and words can not express to you how much that means to me! I love you all and thank you so much!!

PS: I am not making this public knowledge on Facebook or anything for a little while. I have a lot to figure out (moving, where to work, etc), so I want to have some of that taken care of first before I make it public.

Announcing...The Latest Recruit!!!

I have to do some bragging because I know she won't. :) I had the pleasure to fly out to BYU this week and interview BYU MBA students for the leadership program I am on at GE. I have to admit it was a little wierd sitting on the interviewers side of the table having just left the program a few months ago. To my pleasure, but not surprise, the interviewing team was able to interview and recruit Miss Melissa Lundgren to go on to the 2nd round of interviews out in NY. I didn't get to interview Mel, but the other two interviewers said she was fantastic. I know we are not surprised, but I just need to toot her horn for her. Way to go Mel!!! P.S. Thanks for letting me stay at your place. It was perfect!!!

tonya's post :)

...coming soon?

Lifes Little Learning Curves

Hello my dearest friends! I hope that all is going well. I have thought many times about our reunion and just smile from it. It was such a great time and will forever hold a special place in my heart. I love you all so very much!

Mary has been here in Boise and we were able to get together Friday night and catch up. Oh how my heart and soul needed her! And I know that she needed me. Which further shows that we ALL need each other. I am so grateful for all of you. You have no idea how much your influences mean to me. I especially need you now. 

So about the learning curves...I was thinking today about Satan and how he knows so well what our weaknesses are. He knows just what he needs to tell us to bring us down. He knows exactly what thoughts to put into our minds to make us think that we don't need to be strong anymore. Unfortunately, I was caught in a moment of weakness and allowed Satan to bring me down. I placed myself in a compromising situation with a guy and things went a little too far. I have a meeting with the Bishop tomorrow and will see what the game plan will be. In all honesty, I am embarrassed to tell you all this. And I actually wasn't going to. I never thought that I would be one of those girls. Yet, here I am. However, after talking with Mary, she helped me realize that this situation (or whatever problem or situation good or bad is going on in our lives) is exactly what this blog is for. We all are not in the same apartment, let alone time zones anymore, so this is the closest we've got to being there for each other for help and support.

So back to Satan...I realized that part of life is not only learning Satan's tactics, but also learning how to overcome them. I think I am going to make a list of the weaknesses I have and attempt to figure out what I need to do to make them stronger. I know the Bishop will have some suggestions of things that I need to do as well, but I think that this is a start. Do you have any other suggestions?

While Mary was over and we talked over dinner, she shared something that really made a difference in how I feel. I am paraphrasing and probably putting it into the words that I needed to hear, so Mary I hope this is close to what you said! We are all daughters of our Heavenly Father. I know that sometimes we feel like things are too hard for us. Almost as if we think that we didn't sign up for this. Life is hard and it's not fair. But you know what, we knew what we were going to be faced with. Heavenly Father probably sat down with each one of us individually. During that time, we probably talked about this life and what we would be faced with. I'm sure there were many times that our Heavenly Father asked us if we wanted to change our mind about the different trials we'd be faced with. I'm sure he said, "Are you sure you want to go through that? You don't have to. You can change your mind." But as daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us, we simply said, "No, I think that I can go through that. I'm strong enough with you by my side."

I needed to be reminded that the Lord will be by my side. He is always there with me, as long as I don't push him away. I have obviously pushed him away. I have allowed Satan to make me believe his lies. I have been frustrated and angry with God and wondering why my life has turned out the way it has. But it all goes back to life is hard and it's not fair. BUT as long as we have the Lord by our side, we're strong enough to go through it. 

So my dears, to wrap it up...Tonya I would LOVE to have a reunion here in Boise in a few months! I would love to be able to see you all again. I'm not sure if I will be able to go to the temple, but I will be there in spirit. I know that I will get back to that weekly temple going girl that I used to be! I love you all and thank you for loving me and support me!

me & moni

the trip hit the spot.
i think anyone could say that, but it really did.  a bit of everything.
adventure
relaxation
gut humor
love
missionary work
forgiveness
learning

our favorite time was spent with family.
we met up with shawn's brother, craig, and his wife, monika.  or moni for short.  a blond german woman in her late 40's full of constant laughter.  it was one of our final nights together and as i was falling asleep had a quick thought to give her my traveling book of mormon and encourage her to read it with craig.

the next morning she was driving us to the train station to say our farewells when i got it out to give to her.  i bore my testimony as i explained it to her and i think almost for me even moreso for her, i was reminded by the spirit the truthfulness and the preciousness of that book. 
i am lucky to have it.  to know it. and be able to testify of it to others.
moni is an amazing woman.  she is a good woman that i hope will except the gospel as i know she would make a difference their in germany and especially with her husband and children.  she's agreed to letting me send over missionaries--hopefully this is the beginning of a new chapter for her.

-mary

Neighborly Love

In the spirit of doing service within our group I'll share my little moment. About 6 weeks ago I moved into a cute little cul-de-sac.I had heard great things about my neighbors and was looking forward to getting to know them. While I was in Utah I would kind of dream about how fun it would be to live in a neighborhood again with lots of people from other faiths. I told myself I would be that neighbor who would reach out and get to know my neighbors and be the best member missionary I could be. For the past several weeks I'll see my neighbors going to and from their cars, but there really hasn't been any acknowledging of anyone. I have been itching to get out and meet them. Today was the day. Today I made some pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. My roommate Kansas (yes, that really is her name) and I packaged them up with cute ribbon and tied a little card to it letting people know who we are and we left our contact info on it. We only made it to half the houses, but the people who were home invited us in. They were so warm and so grateful that we stopped by. They were totally Southern and told us to call them for anything and already talked about inviting us to the upcoming neighborhood get togethers. One of the ladies talked about how she passes out jello shots to all the neighbors at Halloween. I responded with, "Oh nice!" When we got home I asked Kansas, "Do those jell-o shots have alcohol in them?" She said, "Yeah, I figured you didn't know that when you responded with so much enthusiasm." Nice one Jules. :) It was just nice to see how something so small can really go so far. I'm excited to make new friends with these people and build a little neighborhood family. :)

Thoughts from a bum wiper…

First of all, this has been a great month for me. When we had our reunion I had no idea that being with you would give me so much resolve in my life. That day at City Creek when we sat and chatted was a huge eye opener for me. When Julie asked what it was that made me get to that point in my life and I responded with, “Rejection” it was as if a huge weight was taken off of my shoulders. I had not been able to pin point what was the cause of my feelings. Then once we had talked it all came together. I realized that I had been rejected in the three main areas of life; school (rejection after rejection from nursing school), dating (many failed relationships, feeling unwanted, and feeling like I was too old for kids and just in despair about it all), and work (applying to multiple jobs within my employer and not being able to transfer and trying to figure out even if I wanted to do nursing).

Now that I have been able to pin point all of this, it has definitely helped me to feel better and to feel like me again. Granted, I have my hard days like anyone does. But for the most part it has been nice to find myself again. I’ve had some time to think about all of this and it comes in perfect timing with this project we have started.

Spiritual: As you all know, the spiritual aspect of my life has been lacking. I have been doing the little things to try and get myself back to where I want to be. I know that I am a Daughter of a loving Heavenly Father who loves me. I know that He knows me best and He knows what I need, when I need it. I know that Faith, Hope, and Trust are all essential to the gospel. They are the foundations that we need to have in order to survive this life. Right now I am rebuilding those foundations. A few weeks ago, my Dad reminded me that the Boise Temple would be opening soon. My parents are aware of how I have been feeling and what has been going on in my life. So my Dad reminded me in his fatherly tone, “You know, it only takes 3 months to become temple worthy again.” And so that has become my goal. Not that I am not temple worthy per say. But I need to become temple worthy in my heart, which is what I am working on because we all know how much I love the temple. The reopening of the Boise Temple will make a huge difference in my life and give me the peace that I am searching for.

Physical: This is that area that I have always been insecure about. I have been my whole life. I go through phases where I think I have it in me to really make the changes and try to eat healthy and exercise. But in the long run, I cave and screw up the entire diet and then I just stop the whole diet process. Ultimately I need to make the decision and really actually go for it. Or I need to become secure with who I am physically. This part of me is probably the most insecure and where I need to work on the most. But until I am totally on board there is nothing I can do. So I suppose I have some decisions to make in this area of my life!

Mental: The other day, I found myself having negative thoughts running through my head about myself. The second I realized it, I stopped myself and told myself the opposite of each of the negative thoughts. In my opinion your mental and emotional health go hand in hand. I need to constantly remind myself of my worth. Once I believe that again, I think that my emotional health will be much better as well.

Social: Because of all of the emotional insecurities, I have kind of become a social recluse. I have had no desire to reach out to others or to attempt to make new friends. I keep getting callings that force me to have to meet new people. So I suppose this is the Lord’s way of forcing me to become social yet again. I find this difficult to do because of how insecure I feel about myself and because I feel so unstable emotionally I don’t feel like I can help anyone else out with their burdens. I don’t feel “strong enough” to help others. But I guess I just need to accept it and know that it is what I need to do.

Earlier this month, I did do something that stretched me. As all of you know, there was a boy (Corbin) that I was “hanging out with” a lot. Things were very complicated between us. I was to the point where I couldn’t take the confusion and needed some clarification.  Long story short, in the midst of me discovering this, I found out that while he was still “hanging out” with me he was actually technically dating someone else. This other person was also a friend of mine who I had confided in about Corbin. Learning about their relationship crushed me. I have never felt as betrayed as I did at that point. It was at then that I told Corbin that he could not be a part of my life anymore. I have never told someone that they could not be in my life and to please stop contacting me. So doing this was very difficult for me. It will take some time for me to forgive them and to not feel the hurt and pain inside. But I know that it was the right thing for me to do.

I have written some of my most personal and deep thoughts here on this blog. I know that this is a safe zone for us all. But actually writing them down and reading them has definitely been an eye opener. I know that there are so many things I need to be working on. Thank you for loving me and for being such great examples to me. Having all of you in my life is one of the greatest blessings I could ask for. I love you all!

and some more :)

More Pics from the Retreat

Pics from Roommate Retreat

Here are the pics that Mel took! I love you girls!

...and so it begins!

it's the adventures of US :)

Channel--it's your month to shine. 
so take it away Channay-nay!